The Politics Of Friendship

Posted July 23, 2018
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Published by Forbes.

By Clarissa Unger. Unger is Civic Engagement Director for Young Invincibles, is a guest contributor for the ALL IN Campus Democracy Challenge

There’s something happening in our country. Partisan politics seem to divide us more than ever. We see divisive rhetoric and actions around issues like immigration, health care, taxes, and almost everything in between. This divide paralyzes our elected officials, keeping them from passing legislation at every level of government. It even prevents many of us from forming friendships or meaningful relationships with people that hold political perspectives different than our own. A polarized populace unable to reach across the aisle or even across the fence is not the America that we have been raised to believe in, or what I believe any of us really want.

That’s the idea behind the coalition that I lead through my role at Young Invincibles. The Students Learn Students Vote Coalition is made up of nearly 300 nonpartisan organizations across the country working with colleges and universities to promote democratic engagement and to help make voter registration, education, and mobilization more accessible for students.

The person who has taught me the most about the importance of bipartisanship is someone who comes from the opposite side of the political spectrum than where I sit: Republican Senator Bob Dole.  

Robert J. Dole Institute of Politics. I had never been involved in politics before, but through the Dole Institute I was connected with the first campaign I ever worked on – which resulted in a junior Senator from Illinois being elected president. I certainly didn’t think that a connection through the Dole Institute would lead to every other professional opportunity I’ve had since. Nor did I realize the continued impact that this great Republican statesman from Kansas would have on my life.

I returned to KU and the Dole Institute as a staff member from 2012 to 2015. During that time, I was given the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel with Senator Dole as he visited all 105 counties in Kansas simply to thank people for all of the opportunities he was given in his life.

As the rhetoric in our country and on Capitol Hill deteriorates, I increasingly see our bipartisan friendship as less of a punchline and more as a perfect example of what we need in our country.

There are lots of things that Senator Dole and I don’t agree on politically. But there are lots of things we do agree on, like the importance of reconnecting with friends over a nice, long meal and the need to ensure that American remains a strong and vibrant democracy.

Senator Dole turned 95 on July 22. As we celebrate his birthday, I am reminded of so many of the transformative life lessons he has taught me, like while expressing gratitude isn’t always easy, it is truly an underestimated virtue in our world today. Our friendship also underscored for me the value of perspective-taking and of respecting and holding in high-esteem those with whom I might vehemently disagree on particular policy issues.

The truth is, we all have the opportunity to develop friendships with people who see the world differently – people from different political ideologies, different generations, different races and ethnicities, different sexual orientations, and those that are differently-abled. We just have to seize the opportunity and not be afraid of those differences. To live in a country where that is even possible is something for which we can all be grateful.

My birthday gift to my friend, Senator Dole, is to pledge to live his example every day, to never be afraid to form relationships with people who hold different political beliefs, and to seek out those relationships in a way that is authentic and leads to greater mutual understanding. Our country would be better served if more elected officials –  and each of us –  did the same. Our democracy and our country depends on it.